Shocked! An Old Man Died From Masturbating

WARNING! THIS POST IS NOT ALLOWED FOR BELOW 18. IF ANY SMALL CHILDREN IN THE ROOM, PLEASE COVER THEIR EYES

Shocked, absolutely shocked! An old man died from masturbating. As reported, he is a Singaporean. He died from heart failure due to his dick stuck in a soft drink. He is 77 years old and used a soft drink bottle to masturbate.

His neighbour got his private part into the bottle and only sought help after his penis could not be dislodged from the bottle despite trying various ways such as applying soap water, reported by China Press. The doctor try to stop his suffer by cutting the bottle neck. Unfortunately, his dick skin had started to become inflamed, causing him unable to urinate. Eww~

This later led to other medical complications causing his death. Here is what I want to warn you, if your dick not small enough to go through the bottle, please don't use any bottle to masturbate.
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Google Toolbar

Since Google Toolbar is free search engine, provides a lot of features such as spell checking, ad blocking, auto form filling, etc, many people will not hesitate to install it. Every toolbar installed into your computer is actually a spy from Google. It allows Google to know everything that you do with your browser including what site you have visited, how long you stay there, how frequent you visit the site, what are you searching on the Internet, etc.



In other words, it is exactly what Adware/Spyware do. Adware/Spyware are software that advertisers put on your computer to spy on what you are doing with your computer so they can serve you for better ads. For example, if you are searching for cameras and your computer is infected by spyware, there are high chances that you will see a lot of camera ads even in other non-related sites. Even worst, you might receive SPAM regarding camera ads.

Did you know what is Top 10 downloads in Download.com? It is Adware Remover software which get ranked 3 currently. Muahaha


However, adware removers will not remove your Google Toolbar because it is not identified as Adware. Why? Because Google Toolbar are not using those information to serve you ads (directly), or steal your email address. But the way it track for user behaviour (sites he visits, what he is searching for, etc) is no different than an adware/spyware. In other words, Google Toolbar are observing you, like your neighbour who long-necked watching your every move!
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rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the
ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it
wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
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Prostitution ( Note : Don't Think To Other Direction )

There is a magazine post a prostitute information today. I can't tell you the magazine name because they have bribe me. They're promoting and advertising the prostitution service today.
For people who not to dare try the chicken like you and me, today M have fully guided you to the prostitution.

They have search the street and shop through a map. Maybe Google Map. If you want to know which job in what street, just go and call M. There is a hotline for them. This is funny. The market price also same as my town foot massage price. They have a standardized market price to prevent ugly competition like Digi with Maxis (Digi advertisement music: “I will follow you…” actually Digi want to tell maxis, I will follow your price cut no matter where you go!)

As you know, the prostitute are not Mat Salleh and definitely not Hong Kong Beauty Pagent. As I know most of them are aunties imported from Indonesia. If you see the picture inside the M, you will see a corridor full with opened-rooms. This is Direct Sale, not need to deal with marketing salesman.

Now, I only know our Malaysia don't allow prostitution because it is against their religion. Maybe as well as mine. Do you know, politician is the 2nd oldest job. Politicians are people who lead people and have more power among their group of people. I think it is correct because when we watch movies that talk about the old time (China Qin Dynasty, The Greece), they are usually war movies where the kings and generals (the politicians) talk about wars. Even there are kings and politicians in Lord of the Rings! And like me, I always lead my friends to wrong way. So politician is the second oldest career in the history

So, what is the 1st oldest job. Yes, yes. It is prostitute. It does exist since a long ago. Since BC. Before the Monkey King is sent to the world. Even farmers becoming lesser than the stone age. But prostitute still doing well today.

Okay. Lets go to Form 3 Reproduction. As our Pn.Koh say, how to make more humans. That time I asking myself. Now only I know. It is a male gamete when fertilise a female gamete. 1 sperm + 1 ovum = 1human. But unfortunately, our school didn't teach us how to transfer the sperm to the ovum. How a sperm suddenly find a ovum? The study material still doesn't satisfy us, according to my interviewing with my friend, finally I have knew it after my friend tell me.

But if there are no prostitution, I guess there are more people get raped. The rapist can't control their sex desire. There are some people who born with a hippo looks but God give him a normal sex drive. Which girl are willing to marry her? Don't tell me that a female hippo will. Prostitute will help them. They are not greedy and don’t need a Hong Kong pageant, they just want to adjust their biological hormones. Do you know, if a man didn't xxx whole life, there is a risk they will get AIDS or cancer.

Some people are enjoying my bull-shits today but some who is well-educated person doesn't enjoy and want to against my view. They will say something, " Prostitute is unethical, God forbid it". " People should control their sex desire ".

I know! I agree! But you think everyone in this world is as well educated as you ar (or hold strong religion like you ar)? Or more sarcastically, you think everyone is lucky as you, who happens to born in better family, have better school, have better financial situation and have a wife willing to marry you? There are children who parents died or dumped them at young age. There are children who have 15 brothers and sisters which have no attention and love from their parents and no money to buy school uniform. They don't grow up normally and most of them don’t even go to school, how can you expect them to think more logically and ethic like you.

( This post is getting long )
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Do you know some countries like Singapore have actually legalized prostitution? Yes! If you are a prostitute and when you fill up a form, you can write you Prostitute job in the occupation field. Cool right? And of course, the bad thing is you got to pay tax. You also got to make sure you are clean because every 3 months you will have to do a body check up to make sure you aren’t carrying any STD (Sex Transmitted Disease).

What is good about legalizing prostitution?

- Government have control. They have the statistics and most important, they can get the Tax ($$$).

- Customer feel more safe since a prostitute can show him her recent body check-up record.

- The sex demand always get balanced up by the supply and reduced woman being raped.

People always do things without really thinking the reason behind it. Why people want to stop prostitution? Because they say it is bad? But how?

Just ignoring the prostitution. You don’t need to support nor you need to fight against it, just ignore it unless you don’t know how to spend your RM30. Muahahaha.
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Respect To KL People. WoW!

I live in a kampung called Mentakab where we only have 100,000 people like that. But KL have over millions of people. Last month I often visit to KL. I am observing the people life there. A lot of unbearable things that seems unbearable to me are acceptable to KL people. Lets see.

1. Traffic Jam

It is common to see traffic jam in KL. There are all busy roads. They usually have to drive 1 hour to work and 1 hour back from work. There 2 hours wasted in a car. It is a scary number if you multiplied it with the number of people driving everyday.

2. Carry Labtop Wherever They Go

KL is a popular place for labtop thieves. Leaving your labtop in your car is unsafe too. Your car's windows will be break. You can see a lot of people carrying their labtop anywhere even when they're shitting in public toilet.

3. Paying Parking Fee

Parking everywhere cost money. Parking at KLCC can cost more than RM10! Parking outdoor at Bukit Bintang area is RM5 on weekdays and RM7 on weekends. Parking fee at Mid Valley is now per hour basis instead of per entry. And more scary, parking at night at some places that should be free are now required to pay as well because the heavily-tattooed guard will tell you, “We take care of your car and make sure no one will scratch your car”.

4. Paying A Lot of Tolls

We must thanks alot to Sammy Vellu our Minister of Tolls. Even when we U-Turn at some roads need to give tolls fee. From KL back to Mentakab have to pay 3-4 tolls.

5. Queuing Buying Cinema Tickets

KL has the biggest cinemas and yet people have to queue so long for the tickets. The KLCC queuing line is especially shocking to me where the cinema waiting area can be full of queued up people waiting to buy their tickets. Some people even sleep at there.

6. Sense of Direction

My father always get lost. But all people that living in KL have memorize all the roads, streets, shopping mall direction.
----------------------------------

Here is why I love Mentakab. Not much people carrying their notebook. Parking fees is free of charge. There is no toll in Mentakab. The taxi price also fixed.

The last time I wanted to go to KLCC, the two jagung were very big and near to me. My father made a bad turning and we lost until the jagung were missing from my eyesight. That’s KL.

But don’t feel disappointed if you are a KL people, because Streamyx in Mentakab is as damned as yours.

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Why Am I Lazy?

Talk about lazy, everybody loves to be lazy. Do you prefer to sit there around dreaming or you like to do all sorts of homeworks teacher gave you. No doubt, most of you lazy fellow would choose sit and dream rather than doing all homeworks that teacher gave you. Like what I’m doing right now, I have homeworks piling up, yet I’m sitting in front of my computer, blogging.

Lazy is something comfortable. Imagine that you are sitting on a Ogawa chair, watching television. You would just snooze off. I just love to sleep, everybody love to sleep. Who don't like to sleep? Sometimes, it was just too lazy to get out from my bed.

Sometimes, we are lazy to do something we really hate to do. Homework is a good example. If you like to do something that you hate to do, I can say it you're weirdo. My laziness is uncontrolable, uncurable, unstoppable. I love lazy. I'm lazy, lazy is me.
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Andrew Science Blog Chapter 4 : Reproduction

After finishing lesson on Science Form3, Chapter 4 : Reproduction, I'm just wondering how if I'm a girl. But this doesn't mean I want to be agua or something related about changing my xiaodidi to xiaomeimei. This is the things what I learnt from the chapter. So anything wrong please tell me.

If I'm a girl, I sure have breasts. I just wonder how does it feel when the two things in front of your chest. Bouncing when you're exercising. Is it hard to wear a bra. The size of breasts also seems to be so sensitive to girls.

What about when you're urinating or we can call it as pee-ing. I'm not longer standing and pee. Next, being a pretty girl. If it's my luck to be pretty, I wonder how does it feel when those guys staring at you no wonder where you go. They like to stare at pretty girls.

Ohh... this is what I learn. Menstrual cycle. What I know they will have a pain every month. Listen..EVERY MONTH!! They have to suffer from pain. Just like the girls in my class. She just have the period few days ago. She just shouting she is very 'pain'. And she gone to a..itchy girl and start making the 'siao' sound. Just god damn her. Perhaps, she didn't wear any sanitary pads.

Then, I will have to study the rights of girls. Being a boy, they can touch other boys as they like. If some boys touch me, I can report it to a police for sexual abusing. But..how if the girls touch there and here to a guy? Can the guy report police for sexual abusing? I think it possible for LKC.

Something that must be consider. As a girl, they should take care their hairs on head,armpit or else where. Apply some lotions onto your skin, use Pantene to wash your hair and whatever.

Man have a chance to convert himself to a girl. But for me, I will choose no. It seems tough to be a girl. I wonder why LKC chose to be a girl.
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Commenting Is Now Enabled

Blog commenting is enabled back. Last time, I changed few template until the comments system is deleted and I hardly find a way to restoring it back. By this few hours focusing to this, the comment is enable once again. Now you can insult me or praise me as you like. Passbyer is welcome. Haters is welcome. Lovers is welcome.

Regards,
Andrew
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