Showing posts with label Get Smart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Get Smart. Show all posts

The Most Expensive Christmas Tree

Recently, the most expensive christmas tree is displayed in Japan and it cost about $ 1.6 Million. This is 24K golden christmas tree displayed in Ginza Tanaka jewellery shop.


How? I can hear a 'wow' sound out of your mouth.

Knowing the fact that an economy slowdown all around the world, including Japan, the store staff said this tree will at least make the people who visited their store feel the gorgeous Christmas atmosphere. Adorned with more than 240 jewels including diamond baubles and strings of genuine pearls, I am sure this 24kg tree is going to make anyone who visited the store felt ' gorgeous ' and ' luxurious ', at least in that few minutes they are in the store.

Three years ago in 2006, Soo Kee Jewellery, a famous Singapore Jeweler had produce the world’s most expensive Christmas tree ( at that time ) made out of 21,798 glittering diamonds totaling 913 carats, 3762 crystal beads and with 456 lights to decorate and make it all bling-bling.


It's almost 3215 kg and really tall, about 6 feet in height. It cost almost $ 1.005 Million. Indeed, Tanaka’s tree is so far officially the world’s most expensive Christmas tree. Although, I find that Soo Kee’s 2006 Christmas tree is much more impressive with its outrageous adornments.

By the way, my tree in my house is barely cost few bucks with last year’s decoration.
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Places I Wish To Go

I have been dreaming about having a travel to the whole world. But seems it is something like a "dream", just wishing to go a few places. Here my list.

1. Kinokuniya Book Store
I like to SMELL new books just like girls like to SMELL their shampoo and bath gel before they buy. Won’t really buy lots of books because buying books is easy but reading is painful (lots of time and energy)! So smell-smell is good enough.
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Side note:
for those who can invent a device that allows me to transfer all the information in a book to my brain within minutes, I will pay you 10 times the value of each book that I want to install to my brain. But I don’t want to kena electric shock and poke holes and wires on my body. Make it wireless please.
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2. Ice skiing!
Prefer to go the US but I don’t think they will let me in because I look like a terrorist. Wahaha. And I am also an options trader. You need to declare if you are an options trader when you enter US (via the immigration form). Options trader are considered as potential terrorist by the US government. Osama Bin Laden bombed the World Trade Center on September 11. He bought a lot of PUT options at the same time (PUT options make money when stock market crashed). When the 2 towers came down, the US stock market also came down. So Osama made a lot of money to pay his employees and fund his R&D department. See, Osama is a very smart businessman too!

So I think I will have no choice but to choose Canada. Can’t pick UK because of their expensive UK Pound (7 Ringgit baru dapat 1 Pound, Celaka) and I really cannot tahan their slang. They speak with their nose! Pain become Pan, Year become Yee (1 yee, 2 yees), Fear become Fee (Fee Factor), ‘Are You Sure’ become ‘Are you Sot’, Malaysia become Ma-lai-sial… zzz

3. Pulau Pangkor.
What the heck! Pulau Pangkor?! Not French Polynesia, not Maldives, not Seychelles and Not Fuji? Yes, you are damn right, it is Pulau Pangkor that I want to introduce to you.







Come on. It is Visit Malaysia 2009! Have some support for Pulau Pangkor. The pictures I show you are Pangkor Laut Resort. And I know your mind is still mumbling, “What the hell, Pulau Pangkor?!!!”. While you are still mumbling, please note that their room rates start from USD 275++ to USD 825++. Or you can book up special areas in the island for your own private use. Rates are between USD 8,000 to USD 14,000 for 3 nights.
Oh, by the way USD stands for United States Dollar and all prices are subject to 10% service charge and 5% goverment tax.

Now only you know you are god damn poor. Wahahahaha.
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After This Our Exile

View more details here.

This movie is very special to us because it is taken in Malaysia. At that time, I'm still in heaven. This movie is based on 20 years ago at a place called Ipoh. To know how long is 20 years ago, a phone look like this in the movie.


Dude, it is a rotator phone. Kleeek-kak-kak-kak-kak-kak,Kleeek-kak-kak-kak-kak-kak-kak. You dial the number by rotating the numbers and not pushing buttons.

While Hong Kong and Taiwan people have no idea what Ipoh and Malaysia look like, but Malaysia guy like me can easily sense something in miliseconds when we see these.


We are sensitive to something that look like ‘money’ because we hope to pick some up from the floor. This is the Malaysia new currency notes, they don’t exist 20 years ago.


Wow, this car have back break lights on the upper part of the car and the metallic blue doesn't exist 20 years ago.


Sorry dude, no red and white plastic chairs existed 20 years ago. It is either metal chairs, wood chairs, or bamboo chairs. But that Nissan Sunny is exactly what we use at that time.

And the WINNER!


There us is no Jobstreet.com 20 years ago! Wahahahaha!!

[There is no Google.com, no Yahoo.com, no Netscape browser, no Internet Explorer... no such thing as Ebay Auction, YouTube, Torrent, Blog, not even Jaring and TM-Nut Streamyx]. But the freaking proton saga existed 20 years ago and only changed slightly from saga to Iswara. You can still buy one today. Useless Proton.

Another word is ‘Ah Boy’, almost all Chinese families call their son ‘Ah Boy’. ‘Ah Boy’ become his name and when he is 50 year old, his 80 year old mum will still call his son ‘Ah Boy, eat rice lor’! And do you know why it is still better to be called Ah Boy? Because the first son will usually be called Ah Boy and the 2nd son will be called ‘Ah Bi’, which come from ‘Baby’! I don’t want my 80 year old mum calling me ‘Ah Bi, come to eat rice lor’ when I am 50 years old!
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Challenging Your Thoughts. Right and Wrong

2009 is quite confusing year for me. A lot of weird thoughts conquer my mind and might eventually make me crazy for thinking too much. Luckily I noticed the mental hospital just few km from Mentakab.

The Monk and The Butcher

A monk and a butcher satys together in a same room. They're just roommates. They stay together as best friends. If monk wake up earlier, he will wake up the butcher too. If butcher wake up earlier, he will wake up the monk instead. So time flies and one day they're dead. The monk was sent to HELL and the butcher is sent to HEAVEN! Why?

Because the monk wake up the butcher to go for KILLING everyday (bad deed) while the butcher wake up the monk to PRAY everyday (good deed)

Emperor Qin

Almost everyone want to kill Qin Shi Huang because he is a brutal leader. They call him the bad guy. Tony Leung Chiu Wai, who play the top assassin in the movie Hero, break through all the defense barrier of Emperor Qin until the final (like Lee Chong Wei playing badminton entering final with Lin Dan), placing his “ parang knife ” (it is really a parang if you watch the movie) on the neck of Emperor Qin. He can just chop his head down like a coconut but at that moment, he got some realization. He didn’t kill him and left. He said, “One shouldn’t kill Emperor Qin”. (I hope Lee Chong Wei won’t say “ One shouldn’t beat Lin Dan ”)

Why? He might be a “ bad ” guy but he united the whole China under him and ended the war and ends the people suffering of the long war. If Qin is killed, people will need to suffer in war again.

Freedom And Democrazy

We all want freedom. But think about it, if everyone has freedom, then we really don’t have any freedom! If everyone can do what they want to do, how on earth can you feel safe! If you let your kids to decide if they want to go to school, all of them will say NO. And school can close shop without H1N1. If you ask the adult if they want to work, all of them will say NO too. If you ask the people if government should pay every citizen RM5,000 monthly, all of them will say YES. “Freedom” on highway with no speed limit? You dare to use the highway anymore?

And you think democrazy is right for everyone, right for every country? Look at Thailand, look at Philippines. Too much freedom and too democracy are crazy. Something that work in a country might not work well in another.You can’t give freedom to everyone. No freedom = prison. Too much freedom = crazy. We can only give half freedom.

Should We Try To Change People?

If we think something is “right”, should we convince people on it and make people think the way we think? If we think something is “wrong”, should we tell other people? This is an important question for everyone to ask themselves. It is also the the biggest challenge to religions.

When I blog, I am LOUD and BOLD. But if I see you in person, I rarely rarely rarely rarely will talk about this. I don’t even talk much to my parents about this nowadays. Because this thing will just make you an “unfriendly creature”.

My point of guidance is simple ( that I learn from reading newspaper! ahh, sometimes “ Newspaper is better than what we expected " ), you can try to change people, but you need to make sure you don’t piss people off! If you are sensing anger out of the fella, you better stop ( including your mum! ). Let them stay the way they wants. Don’t make people angry and unhappy.

There is also no need to get angry when something you expected happen. “ See, ask you not to drive so fast, now accident already lor ”. “ See, ask you not to eat KFC so much, now got cancer already lor ”… People, no matter they listen or not, no matter the do the “ right ” or the “ wrong ” thing will suffer all the consequences as a cause and effect. It is their path whether it is their choice or not. A guy who has lung cancer might already been enjoying smoking for 30 plus years and he may thinks the pleasure for so long is worth it! Maybe for them to live until 100 years old without cigarettes is more suffering.

Soldiers And Villagers ( Potato People? )

The soldiers are chasing for the runaways villagers. They have killed almost all of them in the village, the ‘lucky’ ones managed to escape and hide in a cave nearby. The soldiers are still searching nearby. One of the baby keeps crying! He is ‘innocent’ but his crying will get everyone killed including his mum and dad! What should his mum and dad do? If you are one of the villager, what do you do? If you are one of the villager and your wife and you mum and your dad and your 12 kids and your 108 year-old grandma and your mother-in-law is with you, WHAT DO YOU DO? To kill the baby, or not to kill the baby? 1 dies or 30 die? Or we have no right to kill no matter what, even we will be killed?

If You Kill Yourself And Can Save Other Men's Life

If there is a gun and you point it to your head and pull the trigger and you can save a stranger life, will you do it? What if it is your mum, or your kids? What if it is not 1 stranger but 10 strangers? What if it is 100 strangers? 1,000? 1 million?!

Will You Eat Cockroach?

People in “ fear factor ” eat a lot of cockroaches. But will you do that? Some people eat cockroach without you asking because they say it tastes good! What if I pay you RM10 to eat a cockroach? You might not be interested but the beggar might do it, for him eating cockroach is nothing but RM10 is a big thing. What if it is RM100? RM1,000? RM1 million? I WILL EAT ONE and I don’t know about you. Every value has a price.

Your Baby So Cute Lar..

Do you say “Your baby is so cute!” or do you say “Your baby look like a orang utan?” when indeed it look like a orang utan?

Claiming Warranty

“ Was it strike by thunder? ”
“ No ar, I don’t think so. I always unplug the wire one wor. ”

“ Did you wet it?”
“ No ar, this morning trying to turn it on already like this. ”

“ Did you drop it on the floor? ”
“ No ar! I open the box it is already like this. ”

Should We Sent Him To Police Station?

If you catch a thieve, will you send him to the police or let him go? The theive recognize your face (and your wife, your daughter and your baby). He knows where you live and tell you that, one day he is going to come back to you. If you are heroism where everything must be ‘white white white’ type of guy, you will send him to the police. But what after that? Will you be wondering is you house still safe? Is he coming back? Why your wife haven’t come back yet …

If You Eat Pig, If You Slaughter A Cow

If you are a muslim and there is no food for days but only pork, and you have wife and kids with you, do you eat? Do you let your kids eat? If you are a Hinduism and a cow is the only food you have for the entire village, do you slaughter it? If you are a Buddishm who can’t kill and there is a lion chasing after a group of shool kids, can you kill the lion?

What Happens In The End?

At the end, life is so fucking challenging. We all seems to be so confuse in this world and we have to make all sort of decisions everyday that we don’t know if it is right or wrong. Andrew is getting like a bullshitter nowadays.
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Interview For A Job


At first, you browse around newspaper classified section looking for numbers or emails like you’re wandering around dating websites.

Then, you send in your CV after modifying it for the sixth time, but you are not sure is the letter going to be read or not. It just like you're writing the love letters.

In the interview, you’re meeting the stranger sitting in front of you for the first time, but you’re willing to tell him/her everything about yourself.

Expert says you have about 30 seconds to make the very important first-impression, but what they didn’t mention is that you have the next half an hour to screw up that fake image.

9 out of 10 interviewers can’t pronounce your name properly through out the interview, but you go on without feeling disrespect.

You had already written all the answers for the first 5 questions in your CV, but strange, you had to repeat the answers verbally, again and again.

You think listing your blog address in the CV makes you look cool and the interviewer will know more about your speciality. But sadly, the question you get about a blog is: “Do you own a blog?”

Looking for a job?

Enjoy the process, coz it’s pretty much like having a date with your love-at-first-sight.

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Fresh Things I Learnt From Transformer

Since Transformer coming to cinema soon, I decided to watch back the Transformer. This blockbuster movie is more than a action movie. It's also can be educational and you can learn a lot of things that you can't find one in your textbook.



Here are the things I learned from Transformer.

  • eBay is now officially the most known website for make-money-online.
  • When you need a good score from your teacher, try pursue him with this line: "What will you do if you’re the God?"
  • When it comes to secret code analyzing, hackers in your neighbourhood might do better jobs than all FBI intelligence combined.
  • Never ever outsource your customer support to India, even if their service is dead cheap!
  • Yup, no adults can survive in United States without a credit card - You’ll probably need them when calling 911 in the future!)
  • Blame earthquake when you accidentally spoil your dad’s compound.
  • When you’re detained by the FBI, make sure you finish every bite of the food they served you
  • Fact 101: Hot chic likes guy with strong arms with nice car (Aha! who doesn’t know that)
Hey, don’t misunderstand that I dislike the movie. Transformers is definitely one of the best big-screen entertainments in year 2007. Those bots are just eye-opening creations.
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" Encik, kamu ni disaman. Saman besar ni". How To Bribe A Police?

All saman are extremely expensive which is between RM50-RM500 ( any mistake please correct me )

So use your brain next time when you want to bribe a police, don’t believe in the bullshit, “Ini Saman Tiga Ratus Ringgit!”, and let the police scare the shit off you and end up you need to beg them to take your RM100! Use the following formula when calculating the amount of kopi duit.

BRIBE AMOUNT= NUMBER OF POLICE X RM10

So,

1 Police = RM10

2 Police = RM20

3+ Police = RM30 (maximum)

Remember that price are always negotiable! These are the HIGHEST price you can pay.


Things that you should remember when you get caught.


1. Don’t look like a virgin even if you are one! Pretend that you have been caught many times and you are their loyal customer. If they know you are a little virgin, you will be raped.

2. You need to continue talking! Don’t keep quiet. Keep talking shit and they will always talk back to you because they want to find a way to get to the point.

3. Don’t talk like a lawyer! Talk like you are talking to your best friend. Must Kawan Kawan Tau!

4. Make your first offer using 50% of the bribe amount (i.e. RM10 if 2 police). This is very important because they will say no to the first offer. Then you act like it is very hard for you and you talk cock that you are very poor, you then increase it to the bribe amount. They will happily accept it because all people want to bargain a bit than only feel happy.

If you are good, this should be settled within 10 minutes guaranted.

What if you do not have enough money or your ringgit notes are too big (i.e RM50/RM100)?


Negotiate the price *first* before telling them you don’t have the money or small notes! Then, let them hold your IC/Driving License so they know you can’t run away. You can now

1. Go withdraw cash at ATM or go back house to take if near.

2. If notes are too big, simply go to 7-eleven to buy a condom or you can go pump petrol at the nearest petrol station. (kopitiam, shops will also work! Use your brain)

This method is based on the concept, “Making a new friend is better than making a new enemy”.

Disclaimer: These are my little bullshit and for laughing purposes only, don’t use it as I am not responsible if you burned your ass with it.

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I have to say great thanks to my father and brother for some information and thousands of thank you to Youtube video to give me some sample/example.





Please cover any small childrens' ear in the room.

There are some cultural talking style in Malaysia such as,

" Yamcha lar, diu "
" Diu lor, police coming "

I wondering how the hell he so early to record this video while he is not aware of the existence of police.

1) He saw the police chasing him behind so he wanted to record down to show us the bribe video

2) This is a fake video. Not a true story. They make this video to show us the example of police bribing us.
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Pimps the Bapa Ayam : Sequel To My Prostitution Post

I wrote a very long post on April, Prostitute which in my view, it is legal. I also believe it is my greatest post ever. But I make a silly mistake as a blogger. It was too long. So people just skip it through.

Okay, if there are prostitute, sure have some pimps. What is pimps? Pimps are the one who find customer for prostitute, and officially called by Malay as Bapa Ayam.

Bapa Ayam play a very important role in the Chicken Industry.

1. They protect their girls from abusive customers, especially physical abuse. Some customers think that their RM30 is very big, want to play 6 hours, want to play SM and expect the girl to supply the candles. Some expect to get free gifts like cigarettes and mineral water.

2. They are more aggressive sales man then Citibank Credit Card and Digi! They don’t need a degree in Business and Marketing but they are still able to get customers for you. Depending on the chicken standard, some Bapa Ayam get customers directly from the street (guys that walk in Jalan Bukit Bintang before know what I mean), some uses the newspaper and yellow pages to advertise their massage girls or tour guide, some even got website chickenshop.com.

3. They charge only by commission. So if they can’t get customer for you, you don’t need to pay.

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I suggest all
credit card salesman and mobile line salesman to consider switching their job to Bapa Ayam since they do almost the same thing. You can get free service some more.
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Singapore Vs Malaysia. This Post Is Come Out Together With My Geografi Project, Perbandingan!

I have a lot to say about Singapore in relation to Malaysia. Most of us has been brain-washed by our politicians and puppet-doll-newspaper to think Singapore is the BAD GUY and we are the VICTIM. While Singapore might be the BAD GUY, what we didn’t notice is that Singapore is also the SMART GUY! On the other hand, Malaysia look ridiculously STUPID in many aspects.

One of the hottest topic last few years is the refusal of the Singapore government to let AirAsia land in their airport. I hate this myself because I do hope to fly cheaply to Singapore. But, before you think Singapore is selfish, do you know Malaysia is doing the exact same thing in many many ways?

Truth #1

Malaysia is building the double-track train system that connect the whole peninsular. Johor government refused to let the double-track to be connected to Singapore. They want it terminated at Johor Bahru. They are afraid that most people will actually ride directly to Singapore and will not stop at Johor, thus reducing the money flow to Johor and at the same time benefit their ‘enemy’ Singapore!

Isn’t that selfish? Isn’t that the same as Singapore refusing the landing or AirAsia?


Truth #2

We are so patriotic that almost all Malaysia families that own a car will own a PROTON! We are so patriotic that we actually need to pay a lot more money to buy a lousy car just because it is ‘Made In Malaysia’. We can’t own a better Toyota at cheaper price like Thailand citizens because we have to subsidize Proton. We have to ‘love’ our country because ‘Malaysia Boleh‘ Make Car. (Proton still lose money after 20 years of operation while Mitsubishi make a lot of money by selling engines to Proton. And we still can’t make our own engine. So technically we don’t make our own car, we make our own car cover only.)

There are lots of Nissan Sentra in Malaysia. Do you know there is a model called Nissan Sunny? You can’t find one here because if it is allowed to be sold in Malaysia, it will be too cheap!

Our government has disallowed other car manufacturers to compete equally with Proton. And who pay the price? We! The drivers!

Isn’t this the same as Singapore protecting their own airline company?


Truth #3

Most of us will have a Maybank account because it is the largest bank in Malaysia. So probably you must have dealt with a Maybank staff before. What kind of treatment do you get? How long do you need to wait just to place a Fixed Deposit? How long do you need to wait to apply for an ATM card?

If you have been to a Singapore bank, you will actually thought you are in a Hotel! The bank staffs will wait for you at the entrance! They will do anything you need while you sit on the sofa reading your favorite newspaper. In Singapore, customers is the boss. In Malaysia, customers is the slave.

This is happening because Malaysia banks are over protected by the Government. Only until recently Citibank are allowed to setup a few more branches. Before this, Citibank only have 3 branches in the whole Malaysia. So again, why Government choose to protect local business, we pay the price.

Isn’t that what the Singapore government is doing to AirAsia?

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If Singapore Government is selfish, what about our Government? While Singapore Government might have been selfish, they have actually done a lot of great things for their people which we can only dream of! They are SELFISH but they are SMART too!

I use fucked-up Streamyx. You probably use Streamyx too. TM has a monopoly of the last mile connections. Unlike other countries, Malaysia has not passed any legislation for the unbundling of last mile connections. This gives little chance for other third party companies to compete with TMNet and has thus created an unhealthy business environment.

Look at our crime rates! We have tons of notebook thieves wandering around KL. We have tons of snatchers planning to snatch your mum’s handbag. We have tons of robbers that want to break into our house everyday.

Compare our Internet connection with Singapore!

Compare our crime rates with Singapore!

Compare our public transportation system with Singapore!

Compare our local universities with Singapore!

Compare our Ringgit Malaysia with Singapore!

Compare our Police with Singapore!

WE ARE FAR FAR BEHIND! WAKE UP MALAYSIANS! WAKE UP! We both started at the same time! We can’t blame our population and size because we will then need to compare ourself with Japan and Korea, which is even more scary!

(Japan need to recover from World War II and they don’t even speak English. Korea have to fight Communism and have their country split into half and they don’t speak English as well.)

WAKE UP MALAYSIA! Just talking ‘Malaysia Boleh’ is not enough, we have to work hard and PROOF IT!

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Newspaper Did The Same Thing Again

The purpose of newspaper writing news for rape cases and crime cases to increase readers awareness and and be more becareful in this society. It will makes readers get smart too but not as smart as Andrew.

However, newspaper sometime can be very busybody and disclose information that I think SHOULD NEVER be published on newspaper.

For example, the daughter of a restaurant was raped in TF Value Mart.

Why the newspaper need to publish the exact road and house number of the crime scene? Because it is Visit Malaysia Year 2009 so everyone nearby (my KL house is near) can drive there and pay a visit?

And why the newspaper need to publish the victim’s parents restaurant name and location? So that the whole town can pay a visit and eat there? My girl friend stay in walking distance to the restaurant. Thanks to the newspaper, now the whole township knows exactly whose daughter get raped and killed and know exactly where they work. This has become the hot topic of the town. Every time they drive pass the shop, they can say, “This is the shop that the daughter get raped and killed”.
Newspaper, give them a life!

They don’t deserve all this troubles. They already have enough pain. They don’t need a few thousands people reminding them the death of their girl for the rest of their life. Even for people who are not busybody, it is quite hard to ‘talk’ normally to them again when they know about what happen to their daugher. Their business will also be affected.

There are also people who will go to them or call to send their condolence. This is also a BAD thing that actually gives more burden. Every call will remind them of the pain. While you might have a sincere heart to call to ‘care’, for them it is just another burden. You are doing nothing good to them.

If one of your family members die today, and one thousand people with a sincere heart come and say to you, “Don’t feel too upset ….”. Do you really think it will make you better?

Eww.... newspaper. Busybody. Nah, give you my middle finger.
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Patriotic?

As I heard a news from radio last few days, our goverment started to complain about some people selfishly going to other country and work there. They also asked why they don't want to serve our own country? They say these people should be more patriotic.

Why?

1. Singapore give them scholarship so they don’t need to worry about money. They don’t need worry that PTPTN will reject his loan.

2. Singapore give them the exact course they want so they don’t need to worry that they can’t get into the course they want in Malaysia. Malaysia just randomly give them course. Some people want to study medicine but Malaysia put them to study engineering.

3. Although Singapore has only 2 universities, both of them are far better than ANY one in Malaysia. Malaysia's universities still under Top200. Singapore only have 2 universities and they ranked as follow - NUS (National University of Singapore) #12, NTU (Nanyang Technological University) #146. Anything for the Malaysians to be proud of?

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Every year we have a lot of SPM straight A students complain that they cannot get into Medicine (doctor). The Goverment says that if they allow all straight A students to go into Medicine, then other student with poorer results will not be able to get into medicine.

Well getting straight A means they are the BEST students with the BEST brain and medicine is usually consider the BEST course ( and tough to study! ). What sense does it make when the BEST STPM students are not GUARANTEED by the government to take the BEST course? Then what is the point of having the exam at the first place?

These best brains are the one who will contribute the most to our country. They represent the future of Malaysia and they deserve top attention. They should be give power to choose what courses they want to take and not randomly pick-by-luck system like Gachapon in Maplestory.

Imagine what are the benefits we are getting by just focusing on keeping our BEST BRAINS from being stolen by Singapore! It won’t break the quota system even slightly because we are talking about the Top 1% people only. Apply the quota system to ordinary students like me!
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Shocked! An Old Man Died From Masturbating

WARNING! THIS POST IS NOT ALLOWED FOR BELOW 18. IF ANY SMALL CHILDREN IN THE ROOM, PLEASE COVER THEIR EYES

Shocked, absolutely shocked! An old man died from masturbating. As reported, he is a Singaporean. He died from heart failure due to his dick stuck in a soft drink. He is 77 years old and used a soft drink bottle to masturbate.

His neighbour got his private part into the bottle and only sought help after his penis could not be dislodged from the bottle despite trying various ways such as applying soap water, reported by China Press. The doctor try to stop his suffer by cutting the bottle neck. Unfortunately, his dick skin had started to become inflamed, causing him unable to urinate. Eww~

This later led to other medical complications causing his death. Here is what I want to warn you, if your dick not small enough to go through the bottle, please don't use any bottle to masturbate.
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Google Toolbar

Since Google Toolbar is free search engine, provides a lot of features such as spell checking, ad blocking, auto form filling, etc, many people will not hesitate to install it. Every toolbar installed into your computer is actually a spy from Google. It allows Google to know everything that you do with your browser including what site you have visited, how long you stay there, how frequent you visit the site, what are you searching on the Internet, etc.



In other words, it is exactly what Adware/Spyware do. Adware/Spyware are software that advertisers put on your computer to spy on what you are doing with your computer so they can serve you for better ads. For example, if you are searching for cameras and your computer is infected by spyware, there are high chances that you will see a lot of camera ads even in other non-related sites. Even worst, you might receive SPAM regarding camera ads.

Did you know what is Top 10 downloads in Download.com? It is Adware Remover software which get ranked 3 currently. Muahaha


However, adware removers will not remove your Google Toolbar because it is not identified as Adware. Why? Because Google Toolbar are not using those information to serve you ads (directly), or steal your email address. But the way it track for user behaviour (sites he visits, what he is searching for, etc) is no different than an adware/spyware. In other words, Google Toolbar are observing you, like your neighbour who long-necked watching your every move!
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rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the
ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it
wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
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Andrew Science Blog Chapter 4 : Reproduction

After finishing lesson on Science Form3, Chapter 4 : Reproduction, I'm just wondering how if I'm a girl. But this doesn't mean I want to be agua or something related about changing my xiaodidi to xiaomeimei. This is the things what I learnt from the chapter. So anything wrong please tell me.

If I'm a girl, I sure have breasts. I just wonder how does it feel when the two things in front of your chest. Bouncing when you're exercising. Is it hard to wear a bra. The size of breasts also seems to be so sensitive to girls.

What about when you're urinating or we can call it as pee-ing. I'm not longer standing and pee. Next, being a pretty girl. If it's my luck to be pretty, I wonder how does it feel when those guys staring at you no wonder where you go. They like to stare at pretty girls.

Ohh... this is what I learn. Menstrual cycle. What I know they will have a pain every month. Listen..EVERY MONTH!! They have to suffer from pain. Just like the girls in my class. She just have the period few days ago. She just shouting she is very 'pain'. And she gone to a..itchy girl and start making the 'siao' sound. Just god damn her. Perhaps, she didn't wear any sanitary pads.

Then, I will have to study the rights of girls. Being a boy, they can touch other boys as they like. If some boys touch me, I can report it to a police for sexual abusing. But..how if the girls touch there and here to a guy? Can the guy report police for sexual abusing? I think it possible for LKC.

Something that must be consider. As a girl, they should take care their hairs on head,armpit or else where. Apply some lotions onto your skin, use Pantene to wash your hair and whatever.

Man have a chance to convert himself to a girl. But for me, I will choose no. It seems tough to be a girl. I wonder why LKC chose to be a girl.
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How To Trick People To Do What You Want Them To Do By Giving Them ‘Choices’

Have you ever wonder why a insurance agent or salesman always ask you for a meeting eventhough you not really want to go because you know their motive is to sell you something.

They won't ask you, " Are you free for dinner tonight? ". If they do so, you can answer it by either " Yeah, I'm free for dinner so you can steal my money form my wallet" or you will ( probably most people answer this ), " Sorry, I'm not free [ have to wake up early tomorrow] [ I sicked] [ I need to do my works] [ I'm full and need to rest] ". Most people including you are talented liar.

But a smart salesman didn't ask you, " Are you free for dinner tonight". They will ask you " When we gonna have a dinner? Tonight or tomorrow? ". Now you need to answer him logically. You will figuring will you have time for dinner tonight or tomorrow. You will choose the best answer, tomorrow night. You answer unwillingly to him " Tomorrow night lar " and hang up the phone. You're just wondering why are you seeing the guy who want the money from you.

This is the trick. If you want someone to do something that you want them to do, just give them 2 choices which either one is also what you want.

Examples

Your mother ask you, " Do you want to sweep the floor or you want to clear the rubbish? " Hehe. Either one is your mother want you to do. Pick any of the answer, you fall into her tricks.

Your discipline teacher look at your fashioned-hair. He ask you, " You want me to cut it or you want to cut it yourself? ". You pick either one, you fall into his tricks.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, instead of giving them first choice or second choice where both also what you want, you can give them first choice and second choice where the first choice is you want them to do while the second choice is terribly ridiculous or doesn't make any sense to be chosen. Or simply the second choice looks worst den first choice.

Examples

You fear your son will ask you for RM100 angpao for this coming Chinese New Year but you want to save the money and give him RM20. You can ask him, " Son, you want RM20 or RM2 for this Chinese New Year? ".

You go and eat chao-kuey-teow. The person ask you either you want 1 egg or 2 eggs. Then your brain start to think, " 1 egg seems enough for me ". Then you say one and you fall into his tricks. He just want to charge you more 50 cents.

Other Examples

- Your boss, "Can you finish this for me today or tomorrow?"

(actually you can request to finish by next week)

- Your wife, "Are you going to buy me LV or Prada?"
(actually you can request to buy a cheaper Guess bag or a pasar malam pirated LV)

- Your father, "Do you want me to beat you on your hand or your butt?"
(actually you can request not to be beaten, you can choose to wash your father car)

- Your friend when you don’t want to go happy hour with them, "Come on! Are we friend or are we not friend?"
(actually it is nothing about friend or not friend, you can always choose to go home)

- Buying at a shop, "You give me 20% discount or 30% discount?"

- Jesus, "Do you want to got to hell or heaven?"
(actually …)

- Asking your girlfriend, "You want to watch King Kong or Lord of the Rings?"

(actually you want to make sure your girlfriend don’t say Harry Potter)

- Salesman, "Do you want to buy one box or three boxes?"
(actually you don’t need to buy even 1 box!)

Heh, learn something from my post? I guess it will be.

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How Can We Live Happily In This World



This is the common question ask by us every time. How can we live happily in this world even we suffer. You must be flexible with everything. Flexible with the things you don't like, flexible with the things that oppose you.

We need to enlarge our heart to a biggest size, bigger then our ass. We must respects everything, accepts everything. You must not be angry no matter what.

It is okay if the driver in front you drive slowly. It is okay if your neighbour is Muslim or Hindusm. It is okay if they still singing loudly in late night. It is okay if someone insult you, talk bad about you. It is okay if someone is killing you! Although it is not logical, but try to imagine, just imagine if someone is really kill you and you're happy instead of get angry, how happy can you be while you're living.

The point is to see how much space you are going to give to people that are different than you. How much can you tolerate. (If you are a Muslim, can you tolerate people burning Al-Quran in front of you? If you are a Christian, can you tolerate someone burning Jesus picture in front of you? ). They can't really tolerate this. If you really stick to your religion, why are you angry. True! Why should you angry. They will go hell after that. God will blast them. God will do their job.

But I'm not telling you that let a rapist rape you tomorrow or let a terrorist kill you tomorrow. I am trying to tell you that if you can accept this things, your happiness will be maximum. People with this level can be happy even they suffer you. Maybe we don't need to get so extreme, we go on with half-extreme..or none extreme. We can't tolerate little things. Goverment sue Namewee for singing Negarakuku is a good example. He is singing the truth. Goverment should change themself to better instead of sue-ing there and here. Even I can't be in this level. I can't even tolerate some small things.

Your happiness doesn’t require any requirements and criteria. You no longer need things and people to be the way you want them to be. Enjoy your life.
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New Game Of The Century - Compare

Yes! I am making this post again. I have post this in my previous blog. So today I'm gonna publish it at this blog. I try to make this post more detailed than the previous one.



This photo is taken from a hotel at China. Oh~ Where is our Sabah and Sarawak gone? Where is the dog head ( Sarawak ) ? Why Malaysia has only potato left?

If our politicians see this, they would say, “It is OK to lost Sabah Sarawak because we are still better than Indonesia because they lost hell lots more islands then us!”

This is what our politicians do all the time. This is called the compare game. When there is something bad, they will compare it to something worse to make that thing ‘look’ good. When there is bocor (leakage), they say it is good because it didn’t runtuh (collapse).

But when it comes to self interest thing, they will compare it to something better. Like when it comes to their salary they forget to compare to the Africans who don’t even have food to eat, but they want to compare to Singapore's Prime Minister (USD $2 million/year). When the Goverment gives him a free Perdana, he compares his Perdana with Ferrari.

And then we complaint about how damn Streamyx is, they will tell us almost all Africans don't have even keyboard ( When this typo things come, they only remember Africa ). Why don't they compare us to Japan, Korea and America?

When you tell them the toll fees is too expensive, they will immediately show you a list of countries that toll fees are higher than us. When you tell them petrol price very expensive, they will tell you actually you're paying cheap because they have already subsidize you. Why they don't compare to Brunei that charges few cents per litre of petrol?

Haha..enough with Goverment. Do you know actually your parents like to play too? When you ask the President of the house (not Abdullah Badawi but your dad) why he drive Proton instead of BMW, he will tell you many people can only ride a bike! When you ask the First Lady (not Jeanne Abdullah but your mum)why she can't cook like Iron Chef, she will tell you many woman don’t even know how to cook.

When you get #2 in your school, your parents will compare you with #1 instead of comparing you with others fellows who left behind you. When you get 99% in Mathematics, they will ask you why you don't get 100%. They forget to compare with 98, 97, 96, 3, 2, 1, 0...

Then next time you just asked " Why Ah Beng drove Benz and you drove Proton? " , " Why Ah Beng's house got swimming pool and garden and we don't even have place to store rubbish? "

I can't promise anything what happen next if you do so. But I can guess they will slap your ass. Then you can compare your ass's Body Glove with the Ah Beng's bag Body Glove.
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Really Can Be Rich?

Muahaha... sometimes when we shopping in MidValley, my parents dropped me off at MPH. While looking for some books, I accidently saw a book.


I'm not sure you will get rich after reading this book, but I'm totally sure you will make them rich. So later you can write a book “Why You Want Them To Be Rich”. Hahaha..
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Malaysia Education

Our goverment often complaints that many of our professional workers don't want to server our country but selfishly stay in overseas and work there. They say they should be more patriotic.

Our goverment often complaints that our country lacks of pros workers but at the same time there are many U-Graduates that can't find job and just slacking in their parents house. I think goverment make a stupid mistake in education.

Our government spend a lot of money providing free primary and secondary education us. That is 6 years of primary school, 5 years or secondary school and 2 years more if they take form 6, total to 13 years! 13 years of FREE EDUCATION and TRAINING!

Some of the top students are exported to Singapore because Singapore give them a full scholarship, let them choose the exact course they want to study and give them Singapore PR few months before they graduate! You don’t even need to apply for the PR! (some of them went after form 6, some of them went immediately after SPM to Junior College)

Malaysia trains this smart student for 13 years and Singapore only trains them 4 years and they have work for Singapore over 30 years.
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