Shittest Error

Posted in Labels: Sunday, May 31, 2009
Imagine you are using the ugly Sand King in a dota game. You farm for 90 minutes until level 25 which make you so fat and scary. You are ready to show them your ugly face in a team battle. Your turn on your BKB, stun into the 5 enemy heroes and click your E-key to launch your 3rd level Ultimate. You shake your green tail for 2 seconds and start shaking the earth like hell. The 5 enemy heroes run like chickens away from you but unfortunately they can only crawl like a snail under your slow effect. They are in deep pain and waiting to die. While you are laughing your ass off waiting for TRIPLE KILL! Here is what you get instead.



This application has encountered a critical error:

FATAL ERROR! This is gonna to kill me.

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McDonald, My Favourite. I'm Sucki'n It...

Posted in Labels: Friday, May 29, 2009

Wonder why is this clown run so fast? What he is trying to convey and what is the message of this picture? This stupid clumsy clown is trying to tell you that calling you to run to McDonald instead of walking slowly like tortoise.

However, the delicacies in McDonald really attract me, that's why I'm so fat( Now is fit ). It makes me fly to McDonald instead of running. The hamburger, french fries, coke, fried chicken and some Happy Meal's toys.



Fillet-O-Fish, the most beautiful and tastiest of hamburger for me. What do you see from the picture? A beautiful roundy shape of bread, tasty, fat and a bit SALTY fish meat. Fillet can drive me crazy anytime I see it. I just wanna to lick on the yellow creamy cheese and eat it, served with Coke/Ribena. That's the best.



This is the infamous McDonald's French Fries. It is so delicious until can bring me to heaven. With a cheap large size of french fries, it really over satisfies me. This is regularly salty and a bit crunchy. Neither KFC's French Fries nor my Kantin Melayu Hwa Lian's French Fries could compete with it.
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Huge Monster Machine

Posted in Labels: Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I always dreaming of having one monster computer but limit my imagination in single processor single monitor kind of setup due to financial constrain as well as knowledge with the PC. One day, when I turned crazy enough, I knoew I'm going make some awesome machine like this!

A tri widescreen monitor monster machine with the richest screen real estate spaces!


Together with latest entertainment and gaming devices


This will surely makes me looks cool


Surely this will tie me 24/7 in front of the computer
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Want To See Ghosts But You Don't Know? Just 10 Simple Ways Will Help You To Gain A Sight To See Ghosts! But It Might Be Danger!

Posted in Labels: Thursday, May 21, 2009
I'm just wanted get to sleep, but I'm thinking about a ghost movie entitled The Eye 10. It's about 10 ways to see ghost. The movie is just-so-call horror but it kinda funny for me. It rather like comedy movie than horror movie. I know some of you thinking " Bastard Andrew, just cut the crap and tell me how to see ghost ". Okay okay, here the 10 ways to see ghosts.

1. Cornea Transplant
If you transplant a cornea from dead people, you might gain a sight to see ghost.

2. Attempt Suicide
If a pregnant woman attempts suicide, she will see-ing a ghost. So, male only has 9 ways though...

3. Ouija Board
A common game to call a spirit. Some classmates of mine played this such game. But they kinda use coin and pen. But in this movie, they place a cup in a Thailand-version Ouija Board and the spirit will answer all your questions. See more in wikipedia

4. Play Hide and Seek In The Midnight
Do you dare? Just play hide and seek in a ghostly or haunted place like forest or cemetery. The ghost will join you and play with you. But the ghost is so tricky and 'it' will block the hider so the seeker couldn't find him/her. To seek him back, the seeker should use a black cat. The black cat will help find back the hider and you will see the ghost too. But how if the black cat die? -,-

5. Dirt Mask
Dig up some soil from dead man's grave and apply it to your eyes. It will surely surprise you.

6. Attracting Hungry Ghost
I laughing my ass off when I watching this part. When you want to attract hungry ghost, you must get ready the materials. Bowls, vhopstick and rice needed. Just bring those materials to a middle of street in midnight/night and tap the bowl. It will attract the hungry ghost and the hungry ghosts will come to you. About the funny part in the movie, one guy tap the bowl until the bowl breaks. Desperately, he use his chopsticks and tap his teeth, which has similiar sounds to the bowl taps.

7. Comb Your Hair In 0000
0000 is the international time for 12am which means midnight. Just comb your hair in front of the mirror and thinking which ghost you want to see. After you do this, you will see the ghost you desire.

8. Opening Umbrella Indoor
Open umbrella in any indoor such as your house, bus, etc. You will see ghost. My parent warns me before when I'm still a chubby kid. I act as Wong Fei Hung and playing with umbrella and I nearly opened my umbrella but it was stop by my dear parent. Phew~ It kinda taboo in our family.

9. Peek-A-Stoop
This might be real. Thailand believes that if you peek a stoop you will see the true form of ghost or a ghost. What is peek a stoop? You just look behind between your legs. Of course, you must bend down.

10. Act As Dead Man
Dress up like dead man and lay yourself in a coffin. You will go into the ghost world or commonly known as Hell? But I don't recommended this way because you might cannot get back from the Hell. The ghost in Hell will scare your breath and you FART.

I just following The Eye instructions. I don't know whether it is true or not. Oh yea, extra bonus and this is Urban Legend.

In the middle of night, just go to your toilet mirror and chanting "Bloody Mary" three times to one hundred times, a bloody girl will appear in the mirror. But as describe in the legend, she will scratch your eyes out and you will die. To prevent this happen, you need a mate to help you open the light, Bloody Mary will dissapear after that. More short stories at here
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Koo Kien Keat Pointing His Middle Finger

Posted in Labels: Wednesday, May 20, 2009


He is pointing his middle finger to his racquet.
However, there are some people better then him in pointing his middle finger include me.


---------------------------------------------------------------





Nah, take that. This is how our KennySiaL pointing his middle finger!
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Malaysia Hell

Posted in Labels: Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Sorry for not blogging for few days. I am hiding in a longkang in Mentakab so that the Hishammuddin cannot find me and cannot put me to jail. Lengzhai Hisham, I'm not trying to make fun of you, I'm just teaching people how to spell your name correctly only lar.

Okay okay. Since exam coming, I'm temporary not blogging too much because I need to focus on my study or in other words, I have nothing to write. Well, do you heard before a joke of Malaysian Hell? If you never, I will write it down then.

--------------------------------------------------------

A Malaysian named Ah Beng dies and arrives in hell. He finds that there is a different hell for each country and he can choose which hell he wants to go to. He first goes to the Singapore hell. There outside the door is Ah Lian, looking bored. Ah Beng asks, “What do they do here?”

Ah Lian replies, “First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Singapore devil comes in and whips your butt for the rest of the day.”

“That’s terrible!” gasps Ah Beng. He is terrified! “I’m going to check out the other hells!”, he says. He checks out the Thailand hell, the Indian hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the Singapore hell. You get tortured to death basically!

Then he comes to the Malaysian hell and discovers a huge line of people waiting to get in. The line circles around the lobby five times before receding off into the horizon. Ah Beng pushes his way through to the head of the line. Amazed he asks “What do they do here?”

He is told “First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Malaysian devil comes in and whips your butt for the rest of the day.”

“But… but that’s the same as all the other hells! Why are there so many people waiting to get in?” Ah Beng protests pointing to the long queue.

“True, but because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Gorverment servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen for teh-tarik…”

Ah Beng faints!!!

----------------------------------------

I have edited some. So I will give you the original but you just check it out yourself.

Click to read original story

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Patriotic?

Posted in Labels: Sunday, May 17, 2009
As I heard a news from radio last few days, our goverment started to complain about some people selfishly going to other country and work there. They also asked why they don't want to serve our own country? They say these people should be more patriotic.

Why?

1. Singapore give them scholarship so they don’t need to worry about money. They don’t need worry that PTPTN will reject his loan.

2. Singapore give them the exact course they want so they don’t need to worry that they can’t get into the course they want in Malaysia. Malaysia just randomly give them course. Some people want to study medicine but Malaysia put them to study engineering.

3. Although Singapore has only 2 universities, both of them are far better than ANY one in Malaysia. Malaysia's universities still under Top200. Singapore only have 2 universities and they ranked as follow - NUS (National University of Singapore) #12, NTU (Nanyang Technological University) #146. Anything for the Malaysians to be proud of?

-------------------------

Every year we have a lot of SPM straight A students complain that they cannot get into Medicine (doctor). The Goverment says that if they allow all straight A students to go into Medicine, then other student with poorer results will not be able to get into medicine.

Well getting straight A means they are the BEST students with the BEST brain and medicine is usually consider the BEST course ( and tough to study! ). What sense does it make when the BEST STPM students are not GUARANTEED by the government to take the BEST course? Then what is the point of having the exam at the first place?

These best brains are the one who will contribute the most to our country. They represent the future of Malaysia and they deserve top attention. They should be give power to choose what courses they want to take and not randomly pick-by-luck system like Gachapon in Maplestory.

Imagine what are the benefits we are getting by just focusing on keeping our BEST BRAINS from being stolen by Singapore! It won’t break the quota system even slightly because we are talking about the Top 1% people only. Apply the quota system to ordinary students like me!
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Who Wants To Be A Millionaire !

Posted in Labels: Sunday, May 17, 2009
Cerita ini direka semata-mata untuk tujuan pendidikan.

Ong Ka Ting sedang berada di dalam rancangan " Who Wants To Be A Millionaire " siaran NTV7. Keadaan sangat genting kerana dia telah menjawab soalan 500 ribu Ringgit dan sedang menunggu sama ada jawapannya betul!

Jalalludin Hassan, " Jawapan anda … … … … … SELEPAS INI! "

Andrew di depan TV, " Deng! "

( selepas iklan dan banyak lagi air liur dari Jalalludin Hassan )

Jalalludin Hassan, " … Jawapan anda … … … … … BETUL! Syabas dan anda sekarang mendapati 500,000 ringgit! "

( tepukan penonton )

Jalalludin, " Sekarang ke soalan 1 juta! Adakah anda dapat membawa balik 1 juta hari ini? … (air liur lagi) .. Adakah anda sudah bersiap sedia? "

Ong Ka Ting, " Ya, sila teruskan. "

Jalalludin, " Oh, soalan ini memang senang. Ini soalan politik! Tentu YB dapat menjawabnya dengan cepat! "

Ong Ka Ting pun syok sendiri apabila dia terdengar soalan itu soalan politik! Politik adalah mangkuk nasi beliau. Hadiah 1 juta sudah dekat di tangannya.

Jalalludin, " Di antara berikut, yang manakah ejaan betul bagi Menteri Pendidikan Malaysia? " …

A. H-i-s-h-a-m-u-d-i-n,

B. H-i-s-h-a-m-u-d-d-i-n,

C. H-i-s-h-a-m-m-u-d-d-i-n,

D. H-i-s-h-a-r-m-u-d-d-i-n”

Ong Ka Ting, “Oh! Diu Lor!”

Jalalludin, " Apa tu? D? "

Ong Ka Ting, " Oh bukan, saya ingin mengunakan life line saya yang terakhir - Call-a-Friend. "

Jalalludin, " Siapa YB nak call? "

Ong Ka Ting, " Datuk Seri Abdullah Badawi. "

NTV7 cuba menghubungi Perdana Menteri…

Jalalludin, " Hello, Perdana Menteri? Saya Jalludin Hassan dalam rancangan 'Who Wants To Be a Millionaire' dan di sini adalah Datuk Seri Ong Ka Ting. Dia perlukan bantuan anda untuk menjawap soalan 1 juta! Anda ada 30 saat. Mulai sekarang. "

(30, 29, 28 …)

Ong Ka Ting, " Pak Lah! Bagaimana mengeja Hishamuddin?! H-i-s-h-a-m-u-d-i-n, H-i-s-h-a-m-u-d-d-i-n, H-i-s-h-a-m-m-u-d-d-i-n, H-i-s-h-a-r-m-u-d-d-i-n "

Abdullah, " Huh? Apa lu cakap, boleh perlahan sikit? "

Ong Ka Ting, " Lu eja terus bagi saya lah ".

Abdullah, " Ok, aku cuba, H-I-S-H-A … eh ada R tak? H-I-S-H-A-M … hmmm, satu M ke dua M? H-I-S-H-A-M-U-D-D … eh, satu D ke dua D?! …ehhh … ehhh … H-I-S-H-A …. "

Jalalludin, " 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 …. "

Ong Ka Ting, " Harlooooo… harlo? Uh. ".

Jalalludin, " YB, apa jawapan yang anda ingin pilih. "

Ong Ka Ting, " Hmmm… Hmmm… Saya mau ambil 500 ribu dan balik. Tak mau teka lah! Susah sangat ni! "

—-TAMAT—-

Tujuan utama saya menulis cerita ini adalah untuk mengajar para pembaca ejaan yang betul bagi Menteri Pendidikan kita. Jika nama Menteri Pendidikan pun tak boleh eja, macam mana boleh kita kata Sistem Pendidikan kita baik?

Jawapan yang betul, adalah … … … … SELEPAS INI!

&*%@$!^%^&%^

Jawapan yang betul mengikut wikipedia adalah C. H-i-s-h-a-m-m-u-d-d-i-n.

Tak ada 'r'. Dua ‘m’ dan dua 2 'd'.

Tak payah malu jika anda eja salah sebab ada 741 laman web pun eja salah menurut Google.

Mana satu yang memang memang betul? Kita perlu check dia punya IC lor!
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Start To Eliminate

Posted in Saturday, May 16, 2009
Don't worry. I'm not going to eliminate you because I'm not able to do so. It had been a while I didn't update my blog. I finally discover what thing should I do now. Its about my weird behaviour.

I'm kinda used to be like my mother. I don't really like to throw anything that is not needed anymore. I will hold on to everything. I kept all book references, kinder-garten storybooks, all letters from my fans and etc. I won't give it out to any people. Becuase I'm selfishly thinking " All of them is mine, not yours ". I also thought that I'm gonna use them someday.

But, my mum even better. She kept old shoes and old clothes that she no longer wear. She also didn't allow me to throw away my old mouse ( computer ) and a old keyboard. She also keep a lot of new bowls, cup and spoons in the cupboard for few years. Are they just for backup-ing? The later becomes never, the new always become old.

My grandmother (my mother’s mother) even better, she keeps chicken cages until today although she has not been raring chickens for decades. My mother is definitely her daughter.

My behaviour, used to be exactly like my mother and my grandmother. I even used to keep a lot of my childhood toys! Super yoyo, some kinda car toys.

Instead of hanging the things, I have to learn to let it go. I have sold some of my reference books to a newspaper collectors, so do the papers I kept. I were hanging on these books because I feel like they are my properties. I thought that one day I might need to read them again. But when I realized I no longer need them anymore, it was too late as the books were obsolete and the only meaningful thing to do is to sell them to old newspaper collector.

I also have the tendency to keep things very neatly. My room doesn’t look ‘pretty’ but it is extremely neat. If you rate a guy’s room, mine will be in top 1% in terms of tidyness. I can always find something easily because I simply don’t keep a lot of things.

Even my computer! I have all my filed arranged very nicely and I will delete everything that is not important. I delete emails after I read them too.

This is what I changed for now.
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