Andrew's Journal

• eBay is now officially the most known website for make-money-online.

• When you need a good score from your teacher, try pursue him with this line: "What will you do if you’re the God?"

• When it comes to secret code analyzing, hackers in your neighbourhood might do better jobs than all FBI intelligence combined.

• Never ever outsource your customer support to India, even if their service is dead cheap!

• Yup, no adults can survive in United States without a credit card - You’ll probably need them when calling 911 in the future!)

• Blame earthquake when you accidentally spoil your dad’s compound.

• When you’re detained by the FBI, make sure you finish every bite of the food they served you

• Fact 101: Hot chic likes guy with strong arms with nice car (Aha! who doesn’t know that)

1 Police = RM10

2 Police = RM20

3+ Police = RM30 (maximum)

Remember that price are always negotiable! These are the HIGHEST price you can pay.

1. Don’t look like a virgin even if you are one! Pretend that you have been caught many times and you are their loyal customer. If they know you are a little virgin, you will be raped.

2. You need to continue talking! Don’t keep quiet. Keep talking shit and they will always talk back to you because they want to find a way to get to the point.

3. Don’t talk like a lawyer! Talk like you are talking to your best friend. Must Kawan Kawan Tau!

4. Make your first offer using 50% of the bribe amount (i.e. RM10 if 2 police). This is very important because they will say no to the first offer. Then you act like it is very hard for you and you talk cock that you are very poor, you then increase it to the bribe amount. They will happily accept it because all people want to bargain a bit than only feel happy.

Negotiate the price *first* before telling them you don’t have the money or small notes! Then, let them hold your IC/Driving License so they know you can’t run away. You can now

1. Go withdraw cash at ATM or go back house to take if near.

2. If notes are too big, simply go to 7-eleven to buy a condom or you can go pump petrol at the nearest petrol station. (kopitiam, shops will also work! Use your brain)

This method is based on the concept, “Making a new friend is better than making a new enemy”.

Disclaimer: These are my little bullshit and for laughing purposes only, don’t use it as I am not responsible if you burned your ass with it.

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I have to say great thanks to my father and brother for some information and thousands of thank you to Youtube video to give me some sample/example.

Truth #1

Malaysia is building the double-track train system that connect the whole peninsular. Johor government refused to let the double-track to be connected to Singapore. They want it terminated at Johor Bahru. They are afraid that most people will actually ride directly to Singapore and will not stop at Johor, thus reducing the money flow to Johor and at the same time benefit their ‘enemy’ Singapore!

Isn’t that selfish? Isn’t that the same as Singapore refusing the landing or AirAsia?

Truth #2

We are so patriotic that almost all Malaysia families that own a car will own a PROTON! We are so patriotic that we actually need to pay a lot more money to buy a lousy car just because it is ‘Made In Malaysia’. We can’t own a better Toyota at cheaper price like Thailand citizens because we have to subsidize Proton. We have to ‘love’ our country because ‘Malaysia Boleh‘ Make Car. (Proton still lose money after 20 years of operation while Mitsubishi make a lot of money by selling engines to Proton. And we still can’t make our own engine. So technically we don’t make our own car, we make our own car cover only.)

There are lots of Nissan Sentra in Malaysia. Do you know there is a model called Nissan Sunny? You can’t find one here because if it is allowed to be sold in Malaysia, it will be too cheap!

Our government has disallowed other car manufacturers to compete equally with Proton. And who pay the price? We! The drivers!

Isn’t this the same as Singapore protecting their own airline company?

Truth #3

Most of us will have a Maybank account because it is the largest bank in Malaysia. So probably you must have dealt with a Maybank staff before. What kind of treatment do you get? How long do you need to wait just to place a Fixed Deposit? How long do you need to wait to apply for an ATM card?

If you have been to a Singapore bank, you will actually thought you are in a Hotel! The bank staffs will wait for you at the entrance! They will do anything you need while you sit on the sofa reading your favorite newspaper. In Singapore, customers is the boss. In Malaysia, customers is the slave.

This is happening because Malaysia banks are over protected by the Government. Only until recently Citibank are allowed to setup a few more branches. Before this, Citibank only have 3 branches in the whole Malaysia. So again, why Government choose to protect local business, we pay the price.

Isn’t that what the Singapore government is doing to AirAsia?

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If Singapore Government is selfish, what about our Government? While Singapore Government might have been selfish, they have actually done a lot of great things for their people which we can only dream of! They are SELFISH but they are SMART too!

I use fucked-up Streamyx. You probably use Streamyx too. TM has a monopoly of the last mile connections. Unlike other countries, Malaysia has not passed any legislation for the unbundling of last mile connections. This gives little chance for other third party companies to compete with TMNet and has thus created an unhealthy business environment.

Look at our crime rates! We have tons of notebook thieves wandering around KL. We have tons of snatchers planning to snatch your mum’s handbag. We have tons of robbers that want to break into our house everyday.

Compare our Internet connection with Singapore!

Compare our crime rates with Singapore!

Compare our public transportation system with Singapore!

Compare our local universities with Singapore!

Compare our Ringgit Malaysia with Singapore!

Compare our Police with Singapore!

WE ARE FAR FAR BEHIND! WAKE UP MALAYSIANS! WAKE UP! We both started at the same time! We can’t blame our population and size because we will then need to compare ourself with Japan and Korea, which is even more scary!

(Japan need to recover from World War II and they don’t even speak English. Korea have to fight Communism and have their country split into half and they don’t speak English as well.)

WAKE UP MALAYSIA! Just talking ‘Malaysia Boleh’ is not enough, we have to work hard and PROOF IT!

And why the newspaper need to publish the victim’s parents restaurant name and location? So that the whole town can pay a visit and eat there? My girl friend stay in walking distance to the restaurant. Thanks to the newspaper, now the whole township knows exactly whose daughter get raped and killed and know exactly where they work. This has become the hot topic of the town. Every time they drive pass the shop, they can say, “This is the shop that the daughter get raped and killed”.
Newspaper, give them a life!

There are also people who will go to them or call to send their condolence. This is also a BAD thing that actually gives more burden. Every call will remind them of the pain. While you might have a sincere heart to call to ‘care’, for them it is just another burden. You are doing nothing good to them.

If one of your family members die today, and one thousand people with a sincere heart come and say to you, “Don’t feel too upset ….”. Do you really think it will make you better?